Paul gives us a golden key here for building healthy relationships: “Submit to one another” (vs. 21). This means that we always put the other person before ourselves. This is what real love does. What applies for all relationships applies much more so in marriage. Paul puts the heavy emphasis here on the husband who is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, but we should remember that Jesus also told all of us to love one another as he loved us. Paul emphasises this point to husbands because he sees them as the heads of their households. Paul’s notion of headship must be understood, however, in accordance with what Jesus said about authority. To lead, according to Jesus, is to serve. Jesus forbade his followers from trying to “lord it over” one another. “Instead,” He said, “whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave, just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:43-45). If we all applied this advice our relationships would be much healthier. Try to think less about what you get out of a relationship and think more about what you put in. A relationship is something that we build by choosing to love. If relationships fail, therefore, it is only because we have failed to love as we should. There is nothing more important than relationships. You can’t sacrifice too much for your relationships, first with God and then with other people.
Reflect on what you have been putting into your relationships, first with God and then with others.
Read Ephesians 5:21-33
