“Rebuke a wise man and he will love you” (9:8b). That’s profound. Valid criticism from others, even when given in a mean or angry way, can be a crucial opportunity for self-awareness and growth. But pride will make a fool of you. The first impulse of pride, on receiving criticism, is resentment and defensiveness. That impulse comes before any thought about whether there is anything valid in the criticism. Our pride doesn’t allow us to see the bad things in our character; it focuses only on our achievements. The next thing that pride does is to belittle the person who criticises you. To invalidate the person, so the fool’s axiom reckons, is to invalidate their point. Imagine how a different response would work out. Instead of resenting the person who criticises you, you show that you have heard them. You process what they say with them and show gratitude for their willingness to confront you with this. Imagine how you would benefit from this. Imagine the healing effect this would have on your relationships. Even if they criticise you in fiery anger, you will extinguish the flames by hearing and validating the criticism. A wise person loves those who rebuke them for their faults. A wise person recognises the great value of valid criticism. They reflect on it deeply and with appreciation for the one who gave it. The foolish person, conversely, deflects criticism with resentment. Next time someone offers you valid criticism, in whatever form, choose the way of wisdom.
Reflect on how you have responded to the rebukes of others.
Read Proverbs 9:7-18
