“Whoever flatters his neighbour is spreading a net for his feet” (29:5). What is the difference between flattery and encouragement? We all need encouragement, but flattery can be damaging. It is therefore important to know the difference. Initially the difference begins in the motive. Flattery is often a clever way of getting something from someone. It is a way of winning favour. Flattery is also deceptive. It refers, not to what a person is, but what they aspire to be. It appeals to their pride and it grows pride. Encouragement, on the other hand comes from love. Love is the recognition of the infinite sacred value of a person. True encouragement, therefore, celebrates what is good in people so that they might be humbly grateful to God. Flattery attributes to a person more than what they have, and more credit than their character can bear with humility. It therefore leads a person to destruction. A flatterer is a kind of parasite which destroys its host as it gains from him. If you recognise something good in a person, then affirm what you see. You cannot encourage a person too much. Never withhold encouragement because you are afraid of flattering someone. People need encouragement. But if you are doing this to make them like you, you can be sure that your encouragement will turn to flattery. Speak to people in love and you will avoid this. Encourage people with truth, don’t manipulate them with flattery.
Think of someone who needs your encouragement and think about how you can convey that.
Read Proverbs 29
