This commandment, “Honour your father and your mother,” is unique in that it is accompanied by a promise. This promise is expanded in its repetition in Deuteronomy 5:16 with the words, “and it will go well with you”. Basically, this command is saying this: ‘Poisoned roots grow bitter fruits.’ The roots of your life are in your relationship with your parents. Parents are, like everyone, imperfect people and they will have let us down and hurt us. That is inevitable in even the best family environments. If you continue to resent your parents for their failings, then it is like poisoning the very roots of your life. It is not what happens to us but how we respond to what happens to us that shapes us most profoundly. The relationship between a parent and a child goes deeper than any other, and any wounds inflicted, however unintentionally, will therefore go very deep. Because of this we are inclined to judge our parents very harshly and this judgemental attitude is poison to the heart. It will, ironically, cause you to be far more dysfunctional than your parents ever were. Did your parents fail you in some way at some time? Be honest with yourself and draw out any bitterness that might remain there. The best way to heal the wound from that experience is to forgive them. This then allows you to honour them. To honour someone is to show appreciation for a person and for their role in your life. It opens the way for you to receive the specific blessing that God wants to give you through that person.
Reflect on your relationship and attitudes toward your parents.
Read Exodus 20:12
